Let us look at an example of how this would work. Mary bakes a cake and shares it with her friend Sue. Sue tastes the cake and says “it tastes a little dry; I think you may have baked it too long.” Mary feels irritation welling up in her but says nothing. Later on, when Mary was alone, she decides to take this situation to Jesus, because she felt her irritation was way too intense for such a minor incident over “the stupid cake”, as her thought went.

Step 1: Mary explains the entire incident in detail to Jesus.

Step 2: Mary remembers that she didn’t say or do anything in response to the criticism.

Step 3: She and Jesus look at her emotional reaction. As they do she again feels the emotion and realizes in all honesty that while it started as irritation, it quickly became real anger. Both Mary and Jesus agreed, so she wrote down “irritation and anger” next to the flowering portion of the weed.

Step 4: Up to this point Mary really had no idea why she had become angry. But now she and Jesus looked at what Mary had desired in that situation. After briefly talking to Jesus about her desires, Mary discovered she had really wanted Sue to compliment her and not criticize the cake. The more Mary and Jesus looked at her desires, the more Mary came to see that her desire for approval was very intense, as was her mirror desire not to be criticized. Mary was quite shocked by this discovery, but also happy to learn of it. Jesus also seemed happy at Mary’s discovery.

Step 5: Mary and Jesus then looked at Mary’s thinking. Mary had no idea what thinking would give rise to such a strong desire for approval. As they looked together at Mary’s thinking, and talked about it, Mary came to see that she had always felt she was a more worthwhile person if someone complimented or otherwise showed approval toward her; and had always felt less worthwhile if someone criticized or otherwise showed disapproval toward her. Mary realized this is why she wanted approval, not criticism. After Mary and Jesus discussed it further, they agreed to summarize Mary’s thinking as: “I am a more worthwhile person if other people approve of me, and less worthwhile person if they disapprove of me.” Mary wrote this down next to the roots of the weed, and gazed at it. Again Mary was shocked that she had been thinking that thought for years and never knew it. Mary also was beginning to realize that the thought was not true at all, but she still felt somewhat confused.

Step 6: Mary asked Jesus what He thought about her thinking, and laughing added, “ You can tell me the truth, even if its criticism. I won’t get angry.” She waited in silence for a couple of minutes, hoping Jesus would let her know. Then a thought came in her mind: “You are sacred and wonderful just the way you are.” And a little bit later another thought: “ I love you unconditionally.”

Step 7: Mary began to weep but was still a bit confused. So she said to Jesus: “ But I do mess up. The cake was dry. And I yelled at my husband the other night. And, as you know, there are many other things.” There was nothing but silence. It seemed like a long time. Then a thought came to her: “I love you no matter what you do. I don’t always love what you do.” This made a lot of sense to Mary. She strongly felt it had come from Jesus, and she believed it completely. Mary checked her emotions, and found the irritation and anger were gone, even when she reviewed the cake incident in her mind. To her surprise she found a calm and a joy bordering on giddiness. Mary felt a new freedom and thanked Jesus profusely for His love and help. And she noticed how good it felt to be thankful.

This concludes a brief overview and summary of the spiritual journey. The following chapters will delve more deeply into each aspect of the journey.

<< Previous  •  Next Chapter >>  | View Chapter 1 as single page