The Excessive Desire for Approval

The third part of the “False Self”, which believes “I am what other people think of me” leads directly to the desire for other people’s approval. The “False-Self” wants everyone to approve of it in every facet of its life: at home, at work, at church, on the golf course —- everywhere.

Given that everyone thinks somewhat differently than everyone else, and that nearly everyone is at least partially caught in the weed and therefore living out of their own “False-Self”, it is basically impossible to get everyone’s approval in every part of our life. Thus, as we will see, the desire for approval, like all excessive desires, gives rise to much emotional suffering.

In summary, the excessive or disordered desires, represented by the stem of the weed, can be clustered into three groups: the excessive desire for:

• Security
• Control
• Approval

Each of these clusters of desire arises from the three clusters of lies which make up the “False-Self.”

Lies:                                Lead To                        Desire for:

I AM:

What I Have   ————————             Desire for Security

What I Do       ————————              Desire for Control

What Others    ————————            Desire forApproval

Think of Me

Painful or Afflictive Emotions

We now turn to the flowering portion of the weed, which represents painful or afflictive emotions. Once excessive or disordered desire has arisen in the human mind, painful emotions are sure to arise, just as the flowering portion of the weed arises once the stem arises.

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